8 - Thanksgiving

Of all the 8 blogs I've done, this might be the hardest to get started and put into words, so here goes.  Thursday the 7th Steph and I went to MD Anderson in Houston for my followup CT scans and to see Dr. Hong for my "restaging" of my treatments.  For the past week or so I haven't slept much and when I did it was Heath ninja sleep. Rolling and kicking and tossing about.  The night before we left was the worst. Hardly any sleep at all.  So we leave the house around 5 am and my precious wife drives us the whole way down there. Steph, you are my angel.  We get there and have blood work done then wait for the CT scan.  Had that done around 8pm ish and head to the hotel.  Being completely exhausted we both crashed (after ordering a great pizza).  So my appt with Dr. Hong was scheduled for 9am, we go in and see his nurse then his PA, she had results for part of my scan but I wanted Dr. Hong to give em to me.  Steph peeked over and saw some good news and started grinning from ear to ear. Hong came in later and the radiologist report showed the biggest tumor that started at 5cm is now 4cm.  The rest of them were almost half their original size.  Praise GOD!!!!  Steph and I tried to control ourselves as much as possible and thank goodness Dr. Hong wasn't in there more than 5 min bc when he left we hugged and cried the biggest tears of joy ever!!!  It's working, It's working!!!  So I get my infusion down there and we leave around 2ish.  After several phone calls and texts to family and friends things calm down a bit.  Knowing the mighty Crowell Wildcats were playing football in Woodson, I look on the GPS to see how far out of the way it would be to swing thru there to see the boys crack some heads.  About 30-45 min out of the way wasn't bad so we stop in.  We see plenty of family friends there, but we run into one of my classmates parents, Barbara and Jon Lee Black.  Steph and I talk to Barbara for at least 20 minutes.  From my facebook, Julie, their daughter I went to high school with, posted on FB, "In light of obstacles we all face, I am humbled by a high school calssmates attitude and FAITH as he battles cancer!  And watched my mom put down her comp and pray w my dad as he requested!  I will b praying for good results too Heath!!" 
This is going to all my friends and family that thought of me and prayed for me!!  I'd posted on FB for prayers for this, and to me, it seemed selfish and self centered.  But honestly, I was and still am begging for time with my daughter and overall my life.  Again, thank you everyone that's tossed prayers up to THE BIG GUY for me.  I know in my heart of hearts thats whats working. 

Much love to all,
Heath

#7

Sunday afternoons are quite possibly the best part of my week.  This Sunday is no exeption.  After a very good Sunday School message, Baylee, Steph, and I met one of Steph's best friends from high school, her husband, and her sister at Wild Burger on 50th and Indiana.  BTW, if you haven't had a burger there, they definately don't suck.  Great burger, great convo, and fun hanging out with the gang.  We're on the way home and Baylee, dressed in her beautiful Sunday dress, was teetering on the brink of sleep.  We decide she doesn't need to sleep in the car since changing her at home will get her wired for sound, so we keep her butt awake.  Not fun at all.  Changed her clothes and she laid right down and went right to sleep, as did mommy and daddy.  We all got up after a 2-3 hr nap and that kiddo was happy as a lark.  She's been so happy and so much fun these past few days and its so exciting to see her learn.  She's so smart and makes my heart glad to see her learn and advance.  Its sad too because i can remember picking her up from her old daycare around noon everyday and her having a bottle and napping with me in the recliner.  Her tiny little head would fit in the crook of my elbow and her little feet would barely reach my hands.  She was and still is so beautiful but was so helpless then.  Makes me just a tad bit sad but excites me that she's getting so independent.  For those that read this that have kids you completely understand where I'm coming from.  For those that haven't been blessed with Gods joy of kids, it is truly a blessing and when people say they grow up too fast, they aren't lying.  14 months have flown by and I couldn't be prouder of this joy in my life.  I know, I'm bragging and boasting about her but I'm a dad, I get to do that from time to time.

Much love and happyness to all who read this, It's gonna be a great week peeps.

Heath

#6

Well here it is, I'm blogging for the second time in a week.  Holy cow!!! 

I've been thinking about myself lately (sounds kinda self-centered) and have made some discoveries about myself.  I'm not and never have been the fastest guy on any team i was on.  Wasn't the most athletic nor the tallest.  I've been a decent golfer until the last year due to being a new father and having the cancer crapola.  Never the strongest nor the smartest person in pretty much any room I was in.  But I've figured out what I'm really good at being, and its been a trial by fire. And not to sound egotystical, but I'm a darn good dad, and I think thats what God has put me on this earth to be.  Yes, trial by fire is the understatement of the year.  My daughter is my everything and I would do absolutely anything for this kiddo.  And no, I don't have the best paying job in the world and I regret the fact that I haven't finished college. My dad told me, my grandaddy would have loved to watch me walk across that stage and recieve that diploma, but he would have loved to meet this precious angel of mine even more.  There I go, off on a tangent again.  Anyway, other than the whole college thing, no regrets.  My job does afford me the ability to pick my Baylee bug up anytime after noon any day of the week.  Sucks to go in at 4am but from noon on, the day is mine.  So from time to time we have daddy/Baylee afternoons, and those are the best days ever.
So thank you Lord for allowing me to be a father.  Its not the easiest job and the pay stinks but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Heath

Hard headed but inspired

I've heard it said I don't know how many times, God does things for a reason and puts people in your life for a reason and He has a reason for everything. I'm 35 and heard that my whole life.  it's hit me in the head like hail stones on a tin roof my entire life. Now as a 35 yr old I'm finally able to understand it. Like one of those hail stones finally busted through that tin roof of my head.  I have a beautiful wife in my life that gave me a gorgeous daughter that I'd do anything for. I have friends that are physically close to me that I can lean on in hard times and talk to about all of my "gobbledy-goo." I have friends on the various social media outlets that are as supportive as anyone ever. I have a Sunday school class that would burn down the house for my family if it would help us in the least. I have family that would drop anything to/be with us anywhere anytime. I've had people that really inspire me as well. I have a person that doesn't even know but that has been about as inspiring of a person as anyone could be. Baron Batch is a Texas Tech graduate and played football for the Red Raiders. He was drafted be the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 7th round in the NFL draft. From all reports I've read he's really impressed in training camp. Well Wednesday during full contact practice, after running the ball and making a great play, he went down untouched and a popping sound was heard. He tore his ACL. The very next day he was blogging about it and calling this a detour that God has put in front if him. What an attitude. His dream of playing football in the NFL is in jeopardy and dim his blog, he's just taking it all in stride. I have no idea how someone could be so calm in such stormy times. 
So if you have a hankerin to read his blog go to baronbatch.blogspot.com. Read the whole thing. Every blog entry is good. May take some time but well worth the read. 

Heath

#4

Family

As you can see, I haven't been blogging too long but I'm getting the hang on it.  It seems like its a spur of the moment thing for me and I just throw on here whats going on with me.  Guess thats what blogging is all about. 
My wife, daughter, dog, and I just spent the 4th weekend with my parents and had a blast.  My daughter, Baylee, had so much fun swimming and playing with the dogs, it's unbelieveable.  My thing is, whenever we visit any of my family, there's never enough time and leaving is so hard to do.  I try to be a strong person with a tight upper lip but with all that were going through, its getting harder and harder to say goodbye, even if its for a few weeks.  I'm lucky to have such a strong family and a wonderful wife that is so understanding and helps me through it.  I couldn't ask for a better person than Steph. 

On another note, I'm on Twitter and have been following a VERY inspiring and a true man of God, Baron Batch.  If you don't know him, he's a graduate of Texas Tech and a former Red Raider running back.  He was recently drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers and has gained a huge following in the Steeler Nation.  One guy that follows him saw that I'd asked to be followed on Baron's page.  I'd posted something to the effect of, "could a father/husband/cancer survivor/superfan get a follow?"  The young man is from Pittsburgh, and sent me a tweet telling me that surviving this is awesome, and a blessing and that him just knowing that I'm surviving is inspiring him.  I would never in a million years think of my battle as inspiring but I guess looking into the glass that is my life I could see that.  so to TheRealBMW412, thanks for kick starting me on my blog today.  Big Ups to ya!!
Heath

#3

So here goes again.  This blogging thing isn't the easiest thing but I'm starting to get the hang of it. 

My early fathers day gift and every other holiday for quite a while was a Nikon D3000 digital camera.  WOW am I in over my head with this camera.  I think if i pressed the right buttons it'd weigh fish for me  haha!  But thats been an awesome gift that Steph and I are really gonna enjoy for a long time to come.

So, the clinical trials in San Antonio didn't work, but we have an appt. in Houston @ MD Anderson on thursday and friday.  From what more than one person has said, Dr. Eng, the doc I will see on thurs, is a great doc.  I'm hoping for the best.  These past few days have been extremely emotionally hard.  I keep having doubts about if this stuff will even work and question myself on why I'm even putting myself through all of this, then I look at my daughter Baylee....... Question answered.  She is why I do what I do.  I fight this because of her.  She doesn't deserve to grow up without a father.  She doesn't deserve to hear stories from her grandparents or daddy's friends about who he was or grow up just knowing daddy from photos.  I want to be there on her first day of kindergarden and when she gets out.  I want to be there for all the bumps and bruises, for heaven forbid the broken hearts, for the ball games, win or lose, I want to be there for  everything.  She doesn't deserve it and Steph doesn't deserve to have to do this all alone. 

Every night I pray the most selfish prayer I know.  I beg God to heal me and take this cancer from my body.  I beg Him to give the doctors the knowledge to know what to do hand have the right tools to fix me.  I feel selfish by begging for myself but deep down inside, I just want to live for Baylee and Stephanie.  Those two girls are my everything. 

I just want to thanks my beautiful wife for all the hard work she's done to pull as many strings and make so many calls to get me into these trials.  If it weren't for her I really don't think I'd have made it this far.  Thanks Sweets.  I owe you big time!!!

#2

Well, its been quite a while since I've cracked into the ole blog and quite a few things have chanced.  Baylee is now almost a year old and has 6 teeth with 2 more otw, she's drinking from a sippy cup like a champ, and hating the mushy baby food.  She loves ravoli's and is growing faster than i could have ever imagined. 


I now have a new superhero.  She doesn't wear her underwear outside her leggings or wear a mask or fly through the air, she dons a white lab coat and helps people get better.  After getting the news from the START center in San Antonio that the second clinical trial I was on wasn't working and getting very little assistance from them as to what our next move should be, she saw one patient and has been on the phone from about 8 am today to a little after 5 pm with drug companies, clinical trial facilities in Colorado, Houston, and Nashville, trying to find a drug to beat this demon growing inside me.  I thanked her so many times today for what she's doing but she keeps saying, thats what I have to do.  Babe, I know its what you have to do, and I love you and thank you for it more than words could imagine.  If it weren't for you and Baylee, I can honestly say I'd have thrown in the towel long ago and just asked to be comfortable.  So thank you sweets.

And for anyone who reads this, these two are my main motivation to keep pumping posion into my body to kill this cancer.

Peace Out!!