My early fathers day gift and every other holiday for quite a while was a Nikon D3000 digital camera. WOW am I in over my head with this camera. I think if i pressed the right buttons it'd weigh fish for me haha! But thats been an awesome gift that Steph and I are really gonna enjoy for a long time to come.
So, the clinical trials in San Antonio didn't work, but we have an appt. in Houston @ MD Anderson on thursday and friday. From what more than one person has said, Dr. Eng, the doc I will see on thurs, is a great doc. I'm hoping for the best. These past few days have been extremely emotionally hard. I keep having doubts about if this stuff will even work and question myself on why I'm even putting myself through all of this, then I look at my daughter Baylee....... Question answered. She is why I do what I do. I fight this because of her. She doesn't deserve to grow up without a father. She doesn't deserve to hear stories from her grandparents or daddy's friends about who he was or grow up just knowing daddy from photos. I want to be there on her first day of kindergarden and when she gets out. I want to be there for all the bumps and bruises, for heaven forbid the broken hearts, for the ball games, win or lose, I want to be there for everything. She doesn't deserve it and Steph doesn't deserve to have to do this all alone.
Every night I pray the most selfish prayer I know. I beg God to heal me and take this cancer from my body. I beg Him to give the doctors the knowledge to know what to do hand have the right tools to fix me. I feel selfish by begging for myself but deep down inside, I just want to live for Baylee and Stephanie. Those two girls are my everything.
I just want to thanks my beautiful wife for all the hard work she's done to pull as many strings and make so many calls to get me into these trials. If it weren't for her I really don't think I'd have made it this far. Thanks Sweets. I owe you big time!!!
