#3

So here goes again.  This blogging thing isn't the easiest thing but I'm starting to get the hang of it. 

My early fathers day gift and every other holiday for quite a while was a Nikon D3000 digital camera.  WOW am I in over my head with this camera.  I think if i pressed the right buttons it'd weigh fish for me  haha!  But thats been an awesome gift that Steph and I are really gonna enjoy for a long time to come.

So, the clinical trials in San Antonio didn't work, but we have an appt. in Houston @ MD Anderson on thursday and friday.  From what more than one person has said, Dr. Eng, the doc I will see on thurs, is a great doc.  I'm hoping for the best.  These past few days have been extremely emotionally hard.  I keep having doubts about if this stuff will even work and question myself on why I'm even putting myself through all of this, then I look at my daughter Baylee....... Question answered.  She is why I do what I do.  I fight this because of her.  She doesn't deserve to grow up without a father.  She doesn't deserve to hear stories from her grandparents or daddy's friends about who he was or grow up just knowing daddy from photos.  I want to be there on her first day of kindergarden and when she gets out.  I want to be there for all the bumps and bruises, for heaven forbid the broken hearts, for the ball games, win or lose, I want to be there for  everything.  She doesn't deserve it and Steph doesn't deserve to have to do this all alone. 

Every night I pray the most selfish prayer I know.  I beg God to heal me and take this cancer from my body.  I beg Him to give the doctors the knowledge to know what to do hand have the right tools to fix me.  I feel selfish by begging for myself but deep down inside, I just want to live for Baylee and Stephanie.  Those two girls are my everything. 

I just want to thanks my beautiful wife for all the hard work she's done to pull as many strings and make so many calls to get me into these trials.  If it weren't for her I really don't think I'd have made it this far.  Thanks Sweets.  I owe you big time!!!

#2

Well, its been quite a while since I've cracked into the ole blog and quite a few things have chanced.  Baylee is now almost a year old and has 6 teeth with 2 more otw, she's drinking from a sippy cup like a champ, and hating the mushy baby food.  She loves ravoli's and is growing faster than i could have ever imagined. 


I now have a new superhero.  She doesn't wear her underwear outside her leggings or wear a mask or fly through the air, she dons a white lab coat and helps people get better.  After getting the news from the START center in San Antonio that the second clinical trial I was on wasn't working and getting very little assistance from them as to what our next move should be, she saw one patient and has been on the phone from about 8 am today to a little after 5 pm with drug companies, clinical trial facilities in Colorado, Houston, and Nashville, trying to find a drug to beat this demon growing inside me.  I thanked her so many times today for what she's doing but she keeps saying, thats what I have to do.  Babe, I know its what you have to do, and I love you and thank you for it more than words could imagine.  If it weren't for you and Baylee, I can honestly say I'd have thrown in the towel long ago and just asked to be comfortable.  So thank you sweets.

And for anyone who reads this, these two are my main motivation to keep pumping posion into my body to kill this cancer.

Peace Out!!

Blog 1

Well, here I am.  Blogging.  Here we go! 
I'm 35 years old, married to my beautiful wife Stephanie and have the most beautiful daughter in the world, Baylee.  The past 5 years of my life have been a roller coaster in every sense of the word. 
1.  August 2005 was diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer.  Had 7 inches of my colon removed along with several lymph nodes.  About a month or so later i started chemotherapy.  That wasn't as bad as everyone thinks.  The facility in Amarillo was very nice, my doc was great and the staff was more than accomodating.
2.  October 2005 i met Stephanie.  That was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  I had no idea she'd be my partner in life but I'm so glad we met!!!  She's dragged me out of some bad times and I love and appreciate everything about her!! 
3.  October 2007 Stephanie and I tied the knot!!!  GREAT DAY!!
4.   In and out of chemo treatments.... same ole story.
5.  June 2010.  The other lady in my life made her grand entrance.  Ms. Baylee weighed in at 6 lb. 14 oz. and 21 inches long.  I know parents are biased, but Baylee's the most beautiful baby in the world.  Gerber baby beware!!!
6.  December 2010.  Got a spot in a phase I clinical trial for a chemo drug that could be the future of cancer treatment.  I know its chemo/poison, but it saves lives. 

Roller coaster.... many ups and many downs, but i wouldn't trade my life for anything.